Hello week 23!

I can’t believe how fast time is passing by. I’m now 23 weeks 1 day and it’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that we will be having a sweet little girl join our family in 17 weeks! Her name will be, Emma Joy and she has already shown that she is going to be my feisty one!

Back at week 8 or so I wrote about the journey so far with Emma, you can read that here, but she wasn’t making the beginning of pregnancy very easy for this mama. A short synopses, she caused me to have a subchorionic hemorrhage that gave us a huge scare, a little bed rest and resting until our next doctor visit. Then she made me sick as a dog. This was no morning sickness, this was all day and night sickness. Nothing really helped and the medicine I could only take at night because it would make me pass out. Can’t do that when you’re at home with a toddler.

By week 17 I finally started to feel better, got back to a normal routine of life and felt more like myself again. I know Titus was finally glad to have his mom be able to function again. Then we were able to have our gender ultrasound at week 19 and found out that we were having a sweet girl!

I was so excited! I kept feeling like it was a girl but Nathan kept reminding me that I had a 50/50 chance of being right.

At that appointment the doctor brought up a concern that I hadn’t gained much weight. I already had a bump but I had only gained about 2 lbs in the entire 19 weeks. But remember I was super sick for a lot of that time and my appetite pretty much didn’t exist. She said that Emma was only in the 15th percentile and that for the next 4 weeks I needed to do my best to put on weight. Her actual orders were to eat ice cream every night. Every persons dream doctor order! But she said if it got lower than that we would have to see a specialist. I was worried after that visit but thought, You just need to gain weight! You can do this! So that’s what I did.

The next 4 weeks that’s what I did. I still ate healthy but added in snacks here and there, ate ice cream regularly and started drinking chocolate milk, sure things to make you gain weight. I was actually worried that she might tell me I put on weight to fast.

Yesterday I had a follow-up ultrasound with my next appointment. I went into the ultrasound thinking and even saying out loud to the ultrasound tech that I was sure my sweet Emma had put on weight. I had gained 8 lbs (which thankfully the doctor said was a perfect amount), I am feeling constant movement and this weekend you could even see Emma moving from the outside. After my ultrasound I had my appointment.

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During the appointment the doctor said that now Emma was in the 5th percentile for her size. She said that the next step was to followup with a perinatal specialist and have a more detailed ultrasound. My stomach sank right then. I thought I have been trying to do everything right. Eating a good amount of healthy food but also pack on the weight for my girl. It all hit me. I felt like my job when I’m pregnant is to protect, grow and nurture this sweet baby and I felt like I’ve been failing at my job. My OB reassured me that it’s very possible that my sweet, feisty Emma may just be small and that’s ok, but we just need to know for sure. That is what the specialist will tell us.

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Thankfully it’s nothing super serious and it seems like Emma is “healthy”. Strong heart beat, tons of movement and looks great in the womb. They are just concerned about her size. Nathan was not able to go with me to my appointment and I felt like I needed to tell him, my family and close friends to be in prayer for us before posting my update. I am supposed to get a call today with my appointment for the specialist and she wants me to see them sometime within a week. So that’s the plan for now.

As her mama, I just want to make sure that I’m doing the best I can for my girl. I’m giving her the nutrition and fat that she needs to grow and be strong and healthy. So we are going into this appointment thinking that we are just going to have a petite little girl. Last night Nathan joked that Titus took all of the fat genes in the family so Emma will just be our little girl! And I am totally ok with that, I just need to know that she is healthy!

So if y’all would, be praying for my sweet family this week. Pray that our Emma will keep growing strong, that the specialist will give us a great report, and that I wouldn’t let it consume my thoughts questioning if I could be doing better as her mama. I am so thankful and blessed that God choose me to take care of these amazing babies of mine!

Love,

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How my life has changed since Titus

I remember, before having a baby, other moms saying enjoy every minute because the time will fly by. It’s crazy how real and true that statement is. I can’t believe that I have officially become the mama to a toddler, a strong, kind, and happy 18 month old little boy. My life has changed so much since becoming a mom. It’s been a year and a half of constant learning and I know that there is SO much more to learn.

Here are a few things that I’ve learned as a wife, mom and friend since my new title of mama:

So much joy has been not only added to my life, but my husbands, our family and all of our friends. The day that Titus was born I never knew I could love something quit like I love him. His cute little round nose (like his mama) and his beautiful big brown eyes surrounded by long eyelashes (like his dad) stole my heart the moment I saw him and that hasn’t changed since. His nose is still so cute and those brown eyes help show every little expressions that he is trying to convey. His laugh his contagious and he if you cheer him on for any new thing he does, he will clap for himself afterwards. Joy is the first word that comes to mind when I think of the past year and a half.

But with the new job title I’ve also seen more and more how my marriage needs to be first. I wrote about this in a past blog, but my relationship with Nathan needs to constantly be nourished and filled. Date nights needs to be mandatory and can’t be the first thing to go when life gets busy. Honestly, we still struggle with this. By the time the work day comes to an end and Titus is asleep we usually end up doing our own thing so that we can both unwind. And date nights go longer and longer without happening. We are regularly trying to get better at this and spend intentional time together. And that doesn’t have to be going out to a fancy dinner (not really either of our ideal date) but just a night in, good food, time to talk and relax together. It’s so important to make sure that our relationship continues to grow since one day, yes I know there’s a long time until then, but there will come a time when it’s just Nathan and I again and we need to make sure we still like each other.

One of the toughest things since becoming a mama is everyone’s opinion on how you should do x, y and z. It’s great to have experienced, amazing mamas out there to help you out when you need it but I’ve found that most of the time 2 other moms don’t agree on almost anything. I’ve seen that I need to stand firm on my convictions as a mom, like struggling with my child walking (read past blog here). I contemplating even writing that blog because I thought about how people would question why Titus wasn’t walking yet. Or the fact that we have started to discipline or how we chose to. Another hard one was when I talked about us letting him cry it out, no that does not mean that we put our child in his crib and let him scream for hours on hours. We read up on it, we learned about it and we put it into safe guidelines to help Titus enjoy and get a healthy amount of sleep. So for as long as I can I will be tough for my kid and stand firm on how I feel as a mom.

And last, I think I’ve always known but it has become more real now that I actually have a child but he watches my every move. Even though he isn’t old enough to fully talk he is taking in everything that happens around him. He is looking and listening to how I react to things, the ton of my voice, my attitude, what I spend time doing and how I interact with others. He is taking all of that in and that will be helping in because the kid, teenage, young adult and man that he will become. I want him to know that conflict will arise, you will not ever agree with everyone, BUT you determine your actions. I want him to be a compassionate, kind, generous, strong, God honoring man. And that starts now. That starts with the actions of me and his dad. It also goes further with the people he is around regularly. He is taking it in everyday.

Like I said, I know this is just the start of a lifetime of learning I have ahead of me but I am so thankfully for the last 18 months. I can’t imagine a life without our sweet boy, and I am so blessed to be his mama!

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Pasta Sensory Box

I am all about finding new, cheap ways for Titus to have fun and learn. I’m sure almost every parents out there has experienced buying your child a new toy and they play with it for maybe 10 minutes and then it’s on to the next thing. Or if you just give them an empty box they somehow play with it much longer than any toy that they actually own. That happens often in this house. I like to think that I’m a minimalist when it comes to toys (you wouldn’t know that if you looked in his room) but I’m more of a puzzles, books and blocks type of mom. So I try to find new, inexpensive crafts or toys that I can “make” for Titus to enjoy.

Well, the other day he got a hold of a box of bow tie pasta, which I was fine with. He went all around the house shaking the box, laughing and dancing at the sounds of the pasta. Next thing we knew the entire box opened right in his lap. He thought it was hilarious. He spent the next 30 minutes putting them all back in the box and then pouring them on himself, still laughing every time. I had to take everything away for him to actually go and eat his dinner. I thought man, he is rarely entertained by something for so long that I actually have to take it away. So I decided to create a sensory box with the pasta.

I grabbed a Tupperware box that I had in the attic and added the bow tie pasta along with a box of rotini pasta. Then I found a few smaller toys and some of his magnet letters and added them to the box.

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You would have thought I just handed my little boy the world when I put out the sensory box the next day. It has consistently been a “toy” that he spends at least a few hours a day playing with. Finding the things hidden in the pasta, or dumping everything out and putting it right back in the bucket. I am loving this new toy that we made and I’m sure your kids would love it too! Everything is available at the dollar store so its very inexpensive.

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What you need:

  • Tupperware box/bowl with lid
  • 2 boxes of pasta
  • Little toys

I’m loving the fact that Titus loves this toy. Sensory boxes are shown to help with language and playing skills, as well as help focus and calm a child. Check out A Little Bin for Little Hands Blog about the benefits of a sensory box.

Now enjoy the fun!

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Something new happened in our house this weekend!

I had a really amazing thing happen in my house this weekend. Something that brought tears of joy to my eyes and I almost didn’t share it. I went back and forth with it because of my own insecurities, My own judgement on myself. But I’m learning that I’m ok with the path that we are on and reminding myself that I am truly loving this life that I have.

So…… my sweet Titus took his first independent steps this weekend. My mom came over and gave me a few new pointers, we sat down with him and BOOM it just happened. At first it was 2 steps then on his knees, after a few tries we got up to 8 STEPS! When I said above that I cried, that was no joke. I smiled so huge and cried. Wrapped my arms around my boy and told him how strong and brave he was, how proud of him that I was.

To some of you this might seem a bit overboard but this is something that this momma has really struggled with. Titus is 17 months old TODAY (I can’t believe how fast the time is going) and he is happy and healthy but has decided that he would like to take his time when it comes to any physical activity. He didn’t really start crawling until his birthday and has still decided not to walk. I’ve sat and questioned if I’ve given him all of the tools necessary to walk. Questioned if I have hindered him because I stay at home with him. Thankfully I have tons of people in my life that constantly reassure me that he CAN do it, he just doesn’t want to yet, to enjoy this time. It’s been hard when he is the only one around us that isn’t walking yet. It also hasn’t helped the few comments I get here and there about it, and the wonderful women at the park who told me that if I stopped carry him around so much he might walk on his own……. Yes, a STRANGER said that to me. But thankfully God knew what I needed. Recently we met 2 other kids about the same age as Titus that are just like him. Chill, love to sleep, eat and have decided they just don’t feel like walking yet. It’s helped me knowing that there are other moms out there feeling the same way that I am. Maybe for you it’s not necessarily that your child isn’t walking yet, maybe they aren’t crawling, nursing, sleeping or whatever it may be. Please know that this momma is here for you. I’m right there in it, trying to be patient and enjoying the pace that Titus has set. Reminding myself that I am a good mom. That Titus has a family that loves, provides and prays for him daily. Remembering that the older and more independent he gets, the less he will need me. So I’m rejoicing in the place where we are now. Rejoicing for a happy and loving baby. And I will continue to scream from the rooftops for whatever he accomplishes.

Now go watch the cutest video ever. See the excitement on his face and hear the joy in my voice.

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Our family costumes!

I know Halloween has come and gone and lets be honest, all of my Christmas decorations are already up but before I moved on to how much I love Christmas, I needed to show just how much I also love Halloween.

As a kid I don’t ever remember a time not going out Trick-or-treating. Of course when we were younger my mom occasionally had my sister and I in our matching costumes but when we weren’t matching she was great about letting us pick out whatever we wanted to be. Minus ANYTHING that was scary, mean or evil. That was her one rule for Halloween. We could get as much candy as we wanted, eat as much of it as we could and she would always let us stay up past our bedtime. The little baskets that kids walk around with now make me chuckle…. we would take a pillow out of its case and that was our candy bag. And trust me, that pillow case was a full as we could possible get it.

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When we would get home we would separate our candy out. First in to piles of what we liked and didn’t like. We would occasionally trade candy that we didn’t like. Then we would sort it into sweet or sour and start to chow down. I remember those days like they were yesterday. Halloween is one of the traditions that I can’t wait to have with Titus every year.

I’m so thankful for all of those memories as a kid and love the traditions that we have already started. Every year my sister and her family come to my house as well as our parents and closest friends. Everyone in their costumes, we eat pizza in the front yard, spend forever taking pictures and then were off. My favorite tradition is that I dress us up in a family costume. I cherish this time because I know in a few short years Titus will protest dressing up in a matching costume with his mom and dad. Then us dressing up at all and then him even wanting to hang out with us on Halloween. So like so many other things I will make these memories count. I will dress us up in corny matching costumes, let him eat a crazy amount of candy and stay up late. And hope that one day he will remember all of these things, look back, laugh, and make these kind of memories for his family.

3 years in the making.. Ninja Turtles (Titus was just a little peanut in my belly), a safari family, and Finn Rey and BB8. I can’t wait to see what we come up with in the years to come!